This statement was inspired by a side conversation I was having with someone on Facebook. Well, it didn’t initially start off that way, so let me digress just a little.
If someone sees something or someone that is pleasing to the eye, the “Like button” is utilized and more often than not, especially if it’s a picture, followed by comments.
Now, depending on your Facebook settings, it can either be for public view, friends’ view, heck, you can even customize it to where I want only these people to see it and no one else.
I find the customization aspect of Facebook very awesome; if only folks knew how much my page was customized…giggles to self.
Okay getting back on topic…
Well, one of my married friends put up some photographs. Nothing graphic or anything, just photographs where she’s posing, just being fly, being herself. Guys were making compliments on her page about the pictures. She put up a post, asking them not to comment on her pictures because of the fact that she’s married.
So I said, partly joking and partly because I feel it’s true: Well, look at it this way, the husband knows he has a good thing if other men are giving you compliments.
She understood where I was coming from but it was the next comment after that which prompted my beginning statement: I don’t want him giving other women compliments. I can’t tell him not to do and have it happening on my page. Besides, my husband doesn’t really want me on Facebook.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with how their arrangement is set up. Whatever works for the relationship to keep harmony intact, so be it.
I am going to approach it from this angle: How much power does technology really have?
By itself, just looking at the hardware, the software, not much.
Once you get an operator behind it, once you turn the computer on and start looking around, that is where the power lies. The power lies in how the technology is used.
More likely than not, you are finding situations where people are claiming, “Technology ruined my marriage. He cheated because of technology.”
No, he didn’t cheat because of technology.
Technology just made the process a little easier to carry out because he was able to have access to someone he may not have gotten to if the avenue hadn’t been available.
On the same token, because of how one can be tracked via this venue, it is also easier to get caught if you are not tech savvy.
For example, you delete an E-mail but don’t delete it from the trash. Yeah, you may have it set up where the trash will delete it eventually, but in a couple of clicks, someone could go in the trash folder and read what you’re trying to hide. Or you delete something from your desktop and put it in the recycling bin, but don’t clean it out. It’s the same concept.
Also, if you download something, you may have a copy of it in a temporary download file as well as where you decided to save it, so even if you delete it in one spot, it can still be discovered.
Also, there is tracking software that can be put on your computer, so even those who believe their bases are covered can be in for a rude awakening.
Subtract the Internet access and the cell phones that do GPS, e-mail, camera photos, and texting…and the guy would be back to telling his woman he’s working a few extra hours at the job, a business lunch or dinner, hanging out with the boys (while having his boys cover for him).
He’d have to be smart enough to think of good stories for each situation. Have a change of clothes on him; pay for purchases with cash as to not leave a paper trail. Never hold on to any receipts. Things like that.
Sure, the cheater would have to work harder to cover his tracks, but it would be harder for him to be tracked as well—when technology does not play a factor.
If anything, technology makes a man with a propensity to cheat LAZY.
Sure, its initial purpose is to connect old family, friends, and do networking, but let’s be real…there are some using it for greener grass. You have a whole pool—millions of people to choose from. So you don’t have to do ground work and just happen to run into someone you want to get in a little trouble with. That’s eliminated.
You can text, so you don’t have to use the phone (unless you use the phone to text) in order to connect.
You can choose how close or how far you want the greener grass to be, so it may not be the neighbor next door who’s easily accessible. It could be your arranging a business trip to a place you frequent, and the other person just happens to be from that same spot. Go there for the time allotted, meet and greet (and whatever else) and then return.
But if the technology wasn’t being misused, would it really be a problem?
I don’t think so.
When I first started E-mailing and social networking back in 1996, the computer was considered more of a luxury than anything, at least from my experience. They cost thousands of dollars and wasn’t an accessible expense for me. Now, the computer is considered a necessity and you can get one for hundreds of dollars, depending on what capabilities you want it to have.
Now, some are so small you may have it in your pocket and not realize it until it rings or vibrates. It now doubles as a music player, camera, travel guide (GPS), gaming machine, and baby computer.
Oh, and yes, you can make phone calls on as well, with the option of having the person listen to music before he’s connected to you, and you can tell which one is the baby’s mama from wifey because “Bytch Better Have My Money” is the ringtone for baby’s mama, and the theme from “Halloween” is ringtone for wifey.
You know when you type certain words what they mean. If they get misinterpreted, it is up to you to clear up the confusion.
If and when you choose not to…when you let things escalate to the fever pitch, don’t blame the keys, for you are the one who is typing the keys.
Don’t blame the web cam because you are the one who presses the button to take the picture.
Don’t blame the computer freezing because you clicked the “send” button just before it froze as opposed to “cancel” when you were second guessing and deciding your judgment was sloppy.
I shake my head when people go and destroy machinery when it is used as a tool for deception.
Okay, don’t let him use it, but that’s an extra computer in case your shit messes up.
If the cell phone is still new and it is within the days allotted for cancellation, take it back and get your money. Heck, even chalk it up as a new one for you; your old cell phone has seen better days, anyway.
Take the tools for play, then send his tail away.
Facebook and Verizon Wireless didn’t deceive you; he did.
Microsoft Web Cam and Skype don’t have you in divorce court; his actions did it; that’s how people should treat it.
Of course, there are some out there who have no interest being on line or even using a computer or cell phone. My grandmother is one of those people. Even if she were younger, she doesn’t see the big hoopla concerning technology and probably wouldn’t use it anyway.
But for those who are, or in a situation where one mate doesn’t want you to be on at all, ask yourself this: Does your mate have a reason he doesn’t want you on line? Is he putting his foot down because you’ve done something which makes him question your intentions? Is he insecure and easily jealous? Or is he putting his foot down, only to go out and do the same thing?
Just something to put out there, but no matter what the scenario, it all circles back to this:
It is not technology itself that is bad; it’s the way humans use it.
Deuces.
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