D.B.A. Entry 2: Not Rushing To Judgment

 

Greetings! The Unleashed One here. I hope everyone is doing well, or the best you can under whatever circumstances you may face.

In my last entry, I spoke about doing entries that are Driven By Affirmation (D.B.A.). These would be inspired by the book No One Does It Like You by Amy Rose Spiegel. Since the gas is inspiration, it isn't the type of thing where there was pressure to be on a posting schedule. This works better for me, since it paints a more organic ambiance.

Upon first glance, I thought it was based on one's perspective and experience.

In the accompanying illustration with the affirmation (apologies, didn't get a chance to include it this time), a young woman is seated at a table. She's ordered a glass of wine and is checking her watch. There is a look of impatience and sadness, perhaps disappointment as well. She fears that her date will not arrive and that she's been stood up.

In the next illustration, her date has arrived. Tucked behind his back is a bouquet of flowers. The expression on the young woman's face changes. She is relaxed. She is relieved. She smiles, and all of this before she's seen the flowers.

The young woman had found her date guilty due to potential warning signs (ie: he's not that into you) or her past experiences. She had not entertained that he went to get her flowers, which was the suggested reason he did not show up promptly. Entertaining those possibilities would have represented her noticing his innocence.

Speaking from my own misadventures in dating, it is easy to decide guilt. I have been in scenarios where I wanted for someone and the person never arrived. No explanation, no apology. It is easier to want to shield yourself from that disappointment, like cutting the snake off at the head.

To protect myself, I do have protocols in place. Those protocols are not because I've declared people guilty. It is for me to make better decisions. If communication is not consistent; if there are changes in behavior and effort; if I have not confirmed your voice or what you look like, then it doesn't advance to the meeting in-person stage.

I believe this affirmation goes beyond just personal situations. It is universal. 

When one hears stories, especially on Social Media, opinions are formed based on the information received. Certain accusations can spark an immediate reaction, regardless of whether all the facts are in.

The Court of Public Opinion springs into action before lawyers, judges, and juries come into play. Even if the evidence clears an individual of all charges, the person will always wear the scars. The public may not forgive as readily as a court of law.

For the aforementioned, it is difficult to notice others' innocence. Yes, one should wait for the facts to come forth.

Does that contradict the sentiment, "Believe all victims"?

Some may argue that it does.

Can you believe all victims while waiting on the facts without being viewed negatively?

Does this mean that only the justice system supports "innocent until proven guilty" while the Court of Public Opinion's motto is "guilty until proven innocent"?

There are many layers to this that "Notice others' innocence before you decide their guilt" fails to take into account. It's not so black-and-white.

I understand the affirmation.

In most situations, I apply the affirmation.

However, I know my knee-jerk reaction to the world's depravities is to decide.

That makes me only human.