2024 Takeaways: Scene Two

 

Greetings to everyone. I hope you are doing well.

In my previous takeaway, I covered the widespread impact of loss. In this scene, I would like to switch gears and discuss change.

For some, just mentioning the word change invites trepidation, uncertainty, and even fear. All of those emotions are relatable and understandable.

On the other side of change (if one is open) is adventure, opportunity, and growth.

In case you were unaware, one of my very best friends (the one I often refer to as a Spirit Sista) has a son who is on the autism spectrum. Different levels of functionality exist on the spectrum. Examples of high functionality on the spectrum are in the movie Rain Man or in a show like The Good Doctor. Her son is somewhere in the middle. 

Jazz and Gino have resided in New Jersey since May 2015. Although we have moved twice, we managed to stay within the same school district, which was necessary for him to continue to receive services. Plus, Gino prefers not to have big changes, for it takes him a while to adjust.

June 2024 was Gino's final year ... his graduation day. The staff did their best to prepare Gino for his upcoming transition. Jazz was pretty poker-faced (or tried to be) until the time was near. 

Life after school was a drastic change.

Jazz and I had to figure out which path would be best. Initially, Jazz had specific programs she wanted Gino to be a part of; unfortunately, most of them had wait lists or they weren't accepting anyone.

We concluded that finding a collegiate fit for Gino would be difficult due to his challenges with focus and often talking to his characters out loud. This would be disruptive to a college setting, regardless of size and if it were on or offline.

The reality of Gino being at home and restless 24-7 took its toll. Gino demonstrated signs of socially regressing due to not seeing or interacting with his school friends. After long days of work, Jazz and I could not always entertain him.

Soon, Jazz alerted his care coordinator to find the first adult daycare program available. Availability did not come until October.

The best thing about his day program is that Gino has been reunited with some of his old classmates. Although it is not like school, in Gino's mind, he gets the same social benefits. 

Getting an adult plan in place for Gino has lots of steps.

Knowing this, I pondered about what role I would serve and whether I would continue to do so. Even before Jazz and I officially met, Gino referred to me as "titi" (aunt). I've been in his life since he was ten and one of the few mainstays that he has. 

After my divorce, I was still figuring out my next steps. Even though Jazz and Gino had opportunities to venture elsewhere, they chose not to. Over time, we became our own family.

When that transition happened, it made it easier to make decisions on future steps. I've always been the future thinker but I've leaned into that even more so because of Gino. Gino's father is not in the picture and has not expressed interest in playing a role. He's definitely missing out.

Until next time,