Dear Grandma: Birthday Edition

Dear Grandma,

Initially, I was unsure of which blog to post this on. The deciding factor is that it's your birthday, and you wouldn't want any unpleasantness on your birthday. Whatever sadness I may feel will be posted to the other side (re: C.O.G.).

Okay, let me grab our mugs and fix us some coffee. No, not the instant Folgers or Maxwell House. We are having some old-school percolator premium coffee.

Yes, I have become quite a coffee enthusiast. You can partly blame my travels and Jazz (the woman you met on my travels) for that. 

I know you weren't the biggest fan of planes (I think that turbulence on Continental Airlines when I was young spooked you for life). The bus and train would have taken a while. I understand but I do wish you would have gotten a chance to visit NJ.

You would have appreciated the Hightstown/East Windsor area the most of all the locations. That is where I was for the first five and a half years.

Hightstown seemed very quaint (at least when I lived there; I hear the dynamic has since changed.). This is similar to Summit. Hightstown is more populated and has more bustling businesses. East Windsor is right next to Hightstown and has all necessities within reach, including a movie theater. Despite M and I falling apart, I still have a soft spot for the area.

Every place one goes has a sketchy area or two. NJ is no different.

The next move was based more on affordability than anything, but the location was on the border of doable and sketchy. However, at that time, I was working so many hours that my job was my residence more so than the apartment. Yeah, the air mattress era. Although I did not have a lot of stuff, it took me months to settle into the apartment. 

That spot was (in theory) to be a transitional location until I figured out my next move.

Well, I won't rehash all of the events, but life happened.

For me, the house on Oak was too much house.

The areas that I needed to be functional weren't very functional or practical. Most of the rooms did not have overhead lighting. There was little to no closet space in the bedrooms. There was scant cabinet space in the kitchen.

I could go on and on, but you get the gist.

In addition, only one bathroom, which was challenging with three people.

Especially one being male.

In hindsight, Jazz was the one who selected the house on Oak.

I was still grieving the loss of ... what I wanted my marriage to be vs. what it was. I was also mourning the friendship I had with him. There was so much I was trying to process that I handed over the wheel when it came to the moving. Oak wasn't a spot I resonated with but the move was necessary.

You would have had plenty of room to visit, but you would not have despised the steps. They are a challenge even to the healthiest of knees ...lol. 

Being at Oak taught me so much.

I learned that I do not need a lot of things. I am the type of person who requires something to have function. For me, it's counterproductive to purchase something without innately knowing what I am going to use it for.

I downsized significantly, not only in preparation to relocate somewhere with less space but also because I wanted to.

Where I am now ... I really like it. Sure, any old house has its issues, but it definitely didn't have Oak's challenges.

I have my own corner of the house with my own bathroom. Sure, it's set up like a guest bathroom but walking directly across the hall isn't a big deal.

The kitchen is huge and has a small island that doubles as additional seating since we don't have an official dining room. There is a small table with two chairs and a bench in the corner.

Part of the living room doubles as my work-from-home space. I am thinking of adding to my setup (longing for an extra monitor and swapping out the standard keyboard and mouse for the ergonomic ones). We have some simple recliners and end tables on one side. Rocking chairs and a coffee table on the other side.

Heat distribution in an older house is always an adventure. Similar to Oak, my room is colder in the winter and hotter in the summer. Thank goodness for extra blankets and a space heater. I even have my old thin comforter from my youth. I use it as a secondary sheet; my bed is a queen so the comforter doesn't fit.

If you were physically here, I would treat you to a Southern breakfast. Jazz and Gino do not eat grits, so more for us.

We would sit in the recliners or rocking chairs (whichever is easier) and do word search puzzles. I don't have a traditional radio but I could find a station that can play your favorite songs. Everything is streaming these days .

If you got weary of being in the house, we could go for a drive. My car is low to the ground, I must warn you.

I do not know all the neighbors. It is not like Summit, that's for sure.

I have gotten used to the circles/roundabouts, but that doesn't mean I like them. In this particular area, a car is preferred ... almost required.

There is public transit but it does not show up often; public transit was more accessible where I last lived.

Where I am currently is the closest representation of the physical essence of home.

However, home is also where you are loved.

I was loved very much by you and Grandpa. I was fortunate enough to find the love of friends here. I do not consider myself a New Jerseyian (can't extract the Southern from me) ... but I'm Northern adjacent.

You are not physically with me but you live in me each day.

The way I approach certain problems.

My mannerisms.

Even my preference for certain products.

It helps that I have items you loved and used. It makes me feel as if you came on the journey after all.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Grandma. Hug and kiss Grandpa for me.